How Did I Get Here?

Once upon a time, my mother used to tell me that teaching would be a wonderful career choice to look into. I, then did the very mature thing of miming projectile vomit from both my mouth and eyeballs. Little did I know- seven short years later I would find myself knee deep in teenage sludge yelling at the top of my lungs about respect. I'm not a teacher, so I don't get those little "Stand and Deliver" moments... just constant yelling...

Luckily, I have been able to get some droplets of awesome from some interactions with kids and being a chaperon on a few trips... but mainly when I'm not balancing the budgets, creating schedules, attending meetings, ordering books, making displays, teaching orientations, fixing the printer, moderating clubs, sending out late notices, and managing the websites... I'm shushing kids. Telling people to be quiet is the worst. You don't think so... alright, next time you are on the bus, try walking to the back of the bus and tell those teens to be quiet. I don't blame the kids for giving me lip, if someone told ME to be quiet, I would most definitely roll my eyes. Then,again I am sassy and roll my eyes to just about anything... maybe it's a tick.

Being a High School Librarian involves a lot more than wearing hot glasses, when I was an Academic Librarian- I would do what most University Faculty do... look down on the peons in lower academia.

What a snob I was. This job takes tough skin and heart... and I've been lucky enough to score a job in a private high school- where job security is little more prevalent than in the public school arena. I think it's time we start to prioritize our state budgets and move some hard earned tax payer money into the school... because without great high school librarians... you get a bunch of dumbass kids.

Five bucks Chris Brown never went into the library when he was in school.

Chris Brown Is the Wooooooorst

Hey remember when Chris Brown was the next Michael Jackson? When he was a sweet little thing that had amaze-ball dance moves that made the boring creaky VMA worth watching again? This of course was pre- Kanye actn' a fool and making live TV the best thing ever. Here I'll remind you:




What a little turd shit he turned out to be.

In fact, "little turd shit" is too light for him. He is beyond words. Of course we all know why he is such a horrible person. There was the beating, then the parade of non apologies, then complaining of so called "haters", the unapologetic name of album F.A.M.E (forgiving. all. my. enemies- shut the hell up with that insane bullcrap), the cheating on his current girlfriend with an ex he beat up (LEAVE RIHANNA ALONE), the lyrics that objectify women, all his homophobic tweets, the accolades from the imbeciles who think he's still a good guy.

THE LIST CAN GO ON and ON.

But really the buck stops here:

His newest tattoo. 

I'm not even going to post the face of post beating Rihanna... ya'll can look that up- all you need to know is that woman's face looks just like it. 

Let that sink in. 

Also let me remind you that this is permanently on his neck. 

So, a lot of people are protesting that this is a "dia de los muertos face" or " it doesn't look like her at all" to all of that I say:

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

No matter how you spin it... it's an altered woman's face. Chris Brown physically altered a woman's face. 

Case Closed, He Sucks. 

I know, he has good jams: here's a tip he didn't make the beats, a producer did.

Sure, he has a great voice: there are so many male song birds out there to wipe this jackass from memory. Yes, he's a good dancer: watch So You Think You Can Dance. 

His craziness is entertaining: go the way of Kanye... he's twice the crazy and doesn't beat up women. 

Can we please say "Good Bye" to Christopher "I beat women and don't say sorry" Brown?!

He is a festering stain on the fabric of our Youth and Culture. As long as we celebrate him and keep giving him awards... he will keep doing WILDLY INAPPROPRIATE THINGS... which will tell our kids that it is not only OK to do these WILDLY INAPPROPRIATE THINGS, but you will get paid millions of dollars for doing so. 

Ghost Blocker

We recently got cable at the Homestead.

I've been living with Andrew for close to a year, meaning I've been living without cable for just as long. This is insane, because before I moved in I was pretty certain I would shrivel up into a wafer of sadness without ye ole boob tube.

To my surprise, I got used to not having it, but lets be honest- I was still watching Hulu and Netflix. It's not like I was looming a tapestry by candle light... come on now. So when we finally decided to jump back into the game, I sat blinking at the THOUSANDS of channels in the menu for me to surf. I felt like a WW1 POW driven insane by rapid flashed on the motion picture box. Meanwhile Andrew tucked into a variety of shows- mostly ghost related:

Paranormal Witness- Ghost Stories with Re-enactments

Haunted Antiques- Spooky Old Things

Ghost Adventures- Douches Yelling at Spirits

I would put the proper times and channels on here, but I'm not a TV Reviewer, plus I barely know what's going on with that box anymore.

29 = Confused Old Lady

Anywho- all this ghost watching has reminded me of my inability to connect with the beyond... beyooond. Believe me, I've tried. They just think I'm bootsy or something and stay the eff away. In other news- I've been having trouble with WiFi, both at work and at home.

This leads me to the only conclusion that something in my big head blocks frequencies... which both WiFi and ghosts communicate through.

I'm a Ghost Blocker.

Pile up

Have you ever had a day when your desk was a mess, you have a stack or work looking at you, you remembered that there is something important due in two days, you have a meeting with your boss in 20 minutes, your direct reports keep nagging you about their work you assigned them, and you have to pee?

Yet, despite it all you eat chips and check facebook.

Expletive!

I didn't realize how salty my sailor mouth was until I surrounded myself with underage folks and statues of sad face jesus' (jesuses, jesui, saviors o' plenty?). Ahhh Catholic School... I'm pretty good at controlling my vulgar in normal day to day talk, being an overachieving only child I was skilled in the language switcheroo. The main problem is when I bang my head/foot or drop something. This would be fine if I muttered a mild mannered "crap" or "damn" no... I go full on "MOTHER F**KER". I picked up this lovely verbiage from my father, my mom still whispers the word damn and will occasionally thrown in a "h-e-double hockey sticks" for good measure.

Nothing like having this staring at you when you drop a MF Bomb:

I'm so sorry Sad Face Jesus. 

Tis the Season

Jesus in a manger it's busy this year.

What in the devil's eggnog was i thinking, when i decided to take on a new job, move into a house, re-decorate said house, all promptly around the holiday season?! I do know one thing, next year this time will be a lot more quiet. Unless you know, the Mayans and Hippies were right, and the world will end. Then I'm thinking this time next year will be a little stressful.

day dreaming and I'm thinking of you

I have some incredibly creative friends.

No, seriously. They are fucking creative. Like painting/drawing/acting/musical/vocal/sewing/knitting/crocheting creative. Many of them perform on the regular and get compensation for their crafts.

You understand now? I'm friends with artists which is pretty amazing. Even my boyfriend, who wouldn't classify himself as an artist per se, can build a computer out of thin air. Can you do that? I for hell can't.

So what am I getting at... well, I'm proud. Very proud, and feel that I am in a very unique circumstance of surrounding myself with people who are doing quality things for themselves. I just wish I could emulate this creativity. Now that I'm settled in my job, I feel more comfortable sneaking in a little bloggie-bloggie every now and again. So hopefully this will stir the juices. I'm crocheting again... which is nice. I think it just takes practice and major dedication to make sure your craft is fulfilled. Also, to be inspired by the ones that surround me instead of jealous. Jealousy does nothing but create wrinkles.

As much as I like being a librarian, I do have a dream... that one day I'll be interviewed by some one famous (like oprah or conan) and one of the wacky facts about me will be that I was once a high school librarian.