A Story About Samples

People like to sell things to college students.

Why?

Well, because they are "adults" with new found "freedom" and somewhat silly amounts of excess cash either from loans or the MommyDaddy Fund. I was one of these "adults" once... it took a couple years for me to realize that it takes more than being able to buy cigarettes and porn to truly be considered a card carrying adult. Even now, I sometimes question my classification.

Anyway, due to the large consumption of ridiculous things in the realm of college, samples and testers run rampant on campuses. Since I work on a college campus... and look like a student, I happily take part in these freebies.

Today's Sample: RedBull Sugarfree Shot

I am one of those weirdos who actually enjoy the flavor of energy drinks. I sip on them like it's a casual day time cocktail of mental strength. So when presented with this opportunity to part take in something I might actually consider buying. I dived in, I dived in head first!

The small bottle fit cutely in my palm, I twisted the top off... it looked like the normal Red Bull, just not carbonated. I took a sniff, then took a sip.

OH MY FUCKING GOD.

Death pee. Worst than death pee... it was as if a bull contacted some horrible std, rubbed a toxic bush on his junk, then took a burning pee into a tiny bottle then served it fresh to me under the guise of a "Red Bull Shot". I mouth forced open, and "oh god..." whispered from my spasm-ed lips.

Horrific.


... but riddle me this Batman, why did I finish it?!?!