Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Such Maturity and Poise

At 11 am, after rough librarian's meeting (no it wasn't about books, you smart asses)... I treated myself to a mini box of jujyfruit. Despite the fact that they manage to get caught in every hidden corner of my dental structure... I enjoy the "Chew Fruity Candy!" very much. So much, that I managed to scarf 5 mini boxes of the stuff yesterday between the hours of 2-3pm. This was my last box- I forced myself to save it, and thought that it would be the perfect pat on the back after talking about databases for 2 hours. I carefully broke open the yellow cardboard box and shook out it's content onto my desk. Three jujyfruits stared up at me.


Each box normally has at least 5-8... and these three just seemed pathetic in terms of what my bruised librarian soul needed at the moment. To add insult to injury, one of the three was a black licorice jujyfruit. The black licorice jujyfruit has never and will never make sense to me. Are they not called jujyFRUIT? Does the box not claim to be "Chewy Fruity Candy"?!?!?!? Last time I checked licorice was NOT a fruit. In fact, I'm not even sure what to classify it as... "disgusting flavor"? Does this random addition of licorice fall under the "jujy" portion of the name?!

Needless to say, I was mad. Now, the next portion of the story I have no explanation for, except maybe I was sleep deprived... possibly delirious from a long meeting... or just one of those weird moments you have when you are alone. I took the black licorice jujyfruit, pinched it with my thumb and pointer finger then placed it in my nose.

Immediately after placing this candy in my nostril I began to freak.

"Why did I do this?!"
"Oh God, it fits almost too well!!"
"Am I pushing it in further as I'm trying to get it out?!"
"How will I explain this to my boss, if it get stuck forever?!?!"

With one hard panicked snort, I launched the jujyfruit out of my nose, it bounced slightly on the desk. At that moment my boss entered my office, and plopped himself on the chair adjacent to mine. I shifted my eyes from the candy to his face as he complimented me on my maturity and poise during the Librarian meeting. I blushed slightly, said my thank you, and swiftly threw the jujyfruit into the trash bin under my desk.