Friday Food Fiesta: The Kipper

A friend of mine is preg. Lately, she's been having cravings for weird salty snacks... usually involving some sort of cream, like onion or clam dip. Being the ass that I am, I thought about suggesting one of the weirder snacks of my youth, to get a rise out of her.

How about Kippers on a Cracker?

To my shock, she replied, "Oh my mom used to love that," which is basically the only way that I remember Kippers.

MY. MOM. LOVED. KIPPERS.

It would be like some ancient ritual, she would slowly pull the black box of water crackers down from the shelf above the stove. Opening and removing the cellophane wrapped column of crackers and neatly pouring them in a fanned circle on the plate. A fork and the palm sized can would be placed on the plate as she marched to the couch in front of the TV. Turning the key would reveal the nastiest smashed up pieces of fish marinating in water from some stinky bog. Eyes glazed over, dejected, I could almost hear each of the skippers sigh, "whatever... eat me..." My mom, tense and mouth watering would gingerly take the fork and pry a bit of the swampy fish body from the can and spread it on the cracker as it it were an extravagant butter. Then down the hatch it would go, as she comically raised her shoulders in food contentment.

"mmmmmm crunch crunch crunch"

Every time the damn kipper can was brought down from the shelf I would go through a range of emotions.

1. Horror

After fully enjoying all the salty cracker goodness of her fishy treat, she would pry yet another bit of silvery fish flesh from the can and smather it on a cracker, but instead of enjoying this one for herself it would be insisted upon me.

2. Resistance

I fought hard, especially in the early years. I wanted no part in this can seafood adventure, but soon she wore me down. Even after partaking in this "snack" and vaguely enjoy it, I would still have to fight my inner monologue of "why am I eating this?!"

3. Complacence

I haven't seen my mom eat a kipper on a cracker in a really long time. Sometimes I wonder if she still does. The kipper definitely has to be a generational thing, because I definitely do not know of any people my age cracking open a little tin can to eat tiny fish... as a snack. Which leaves me to wonder, what current snacks will be thought of as weird?