Thursday, April 21, 2011

Those Wacky Victorians...

There are various reasons why I dislike the turn of the century.

1. Freak Shows
2. Street Urchins/ dirty children (unless they are singing about Newspapers in a Disney movie)
3. Tuberculous
4. Coat Tails
5. Metal Wind Up Toys

I could go on and on to prove my point, but there is simply too much to define this creepy era. I know, all you Steampunks are screaming, "Screw you, Nnekay!!!" Well ya'll are creepy, too! With your fake bionic arms and top hats!

As a librarian, I of course, come across a bunch of weird old books. Today a pamphlet promoting good grammar flopped on my desk. What is so freaky-deaky about a book on proper punctuation? Well, dear readers let me demonstrate how being published in the late 1800s can make just about anything weirdly morbid.
This is the cover of the horror nightmare. A man made out of punctuations? Mr. Stops?! Give me a real author you creepy manifesto!

That... is Mr. Stops?! Stops, Mr. Stops! Leave us alone! Why does he have he one hand? OMG A DAGGER! Why would a man made out of commas need a dagger? Who is that lady-baby dressed like a soccer mom? So confused. So scared.

We get it... you don't like Napoleon- but putting political satire in a children book is weird. I'm looking at you Lewis Carrol...
Wanna start a complex? I got idea, let's portray the question mark (or interrogative point) as a leery hunch back dude asking inappropriate questions. Noooo that wont mess a kid up in the head at all.
Are those supposed to be boobies? And why is that guy so sad?!

So apparently this old time-y punctuation means, "watch where you're going!" which is what that lady is trying to say to Mr. Grabby McBoob hands. Sexual harassment jokes in a punctuation book is toootally fine for children.

Opium is a helluva drug.

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